More Frank Talk

Sometimes we are reluctant to put down our thoughts and observations on the blog for fear that by writing them, they will become true. We are scared. Judah is teetering on a precipice.
Why we have reason to hope: There is a woman on the floor who was in a similar position as Judah; she suffered from lung fibrosis and inflammation, and she required 100% oxygen for over a week. She had been in the ICU for about 5 weeks. She made a spontaneous recovery. She is not fully healed yet, but she is able to speak and even stay off the respirator for long periods. Her children keep reminding us to hang on.
Judah now has increasing complications. Each one compounds the gravity of his condition. The doctors and nurses at City of Hope (God bless them) continue to afford Judah every treatment available, and they continue on as if Judah will recover, even though some of them think he will not. It's business as usual; Judah will have dialysis, apheresis, change in antibiotics etc.
We are very lucky in that Judah made his wishes explicitly clear as to how to proceed in the case of a dire emergency. Judah not only discussed his wishes with Mom, Issy and me, but with his doctors, his nurses and other care-givers.
Here at COH, they have a policy of meeting with the family members when the situation turns serious. Dr. Forman met with us yesterday and we discussed the different scenarios that may play out, and we confirmed what we knew about Judah's wishes. Judah made it clear to all that he wants all measures taken to preserve and prolong his life. Despite the seeming clarity, shades of nuance still came up that created questions about how to proceed if things turn bad. We are lucky in that Judah made the hard decisions for us. We will continue along even when things seem bleakest. We will give Judah every opportunity possible to make a recovery and turn the tides, even in the face of advice to the contrary. Judah must have his reasons for making these choices, and I hope to God that they pay off.
Still, we are lucky to have Judah with us for another day. I hope to write this again everyday for many years to come.