Sunday, April 24, 2011

Passover 2011

each year at passover time, a strange feeling comes over me. Judah's spirit is alongside , sitting in the dinning room, leading the Seder, enjoying having his friends at the table,loving the hagadah stories an the food. He is next to me when I try to sing, with his off tempo singing, heartfelt and warm. Seymour is sitting and smiling, enjoying Judah's explanations. I remember many scenes from various Seders, but none as poignant as the last two.

I will never forget that I was standing in the kitchen doing the dishes when Judah said to every one "Thank you for coming". He said it in such a way my heart stopped. I almost dropped the dish in my hand. I can still hear it.

The other was when he was having a stem cell transplant, and we brought the seder to the City of Hope. Judah dressed, which was an effort, insisted on leading a Seder for our family including my father, and about seven or eight hospital staff who wanted to see a Seder. He mustered all his energy, sang all the songs, explained the Haggadah, Benji offered to help but Judah was determined to do it.
He got to the meal, could only eat specially prepared bacteria free food, and then went to bed. We concluded the Seder in his room.
I am beginning to understand the phrase may his memory be a blessing. At first his memory or loss of Judah was so painful, now bringing up his memory is a balm for my soul.

I heard from Josh, Dave, Mike W Mike L. and it is good. Hope to hear from you .