310 908 6622

Today I shut down Judah's phone. I finally got into his mail, and of course there were only a few hang ups, wrong numbers and one from Dr. Ahmed, his nephrologist. All of his friends numbers were stored and saved. I also visited his storage shed, having to break the lock because I didn't have the key. I can see Judah in each of the boxes, the couch, the TV. This I can't empty out yet. It will stay.

Six Months

It takes nine months to make a baby . It takes six months to make the pain even harder. Missing Judah is like wearing a stone around your neck that grows heavier each day. Forces like pride keep me standing upright, but the stone pulls me down. Some say placing a stone at the gravesite is like removing the stone around your neck, you lighten the burden. I visit the grave every day and leave stones, pebbles, pennies, dimes, nickles, and sometimes on Friday I leave some Challa. I talk to Judah, tell him all the news of his friends, his brother and sister. I tell Seymour the secrets of my heart, and I tell my friends I am fine.

Life goes on. The sun shines, rains come, mail is delivered and the president does his nonesense. Celebrations come too. My father will turn 91 in April and is taking us on a cruise to celebrate. Judah loved his grandfather, they shared a love of art, sex and women among other things. Purim is on Monday night so we will take our Megillah of Esther with us, our noise makers and rejoice. I will try to put the stone down for a while

With much love to you all. Happy Purim

Martha